[Note:  provided by Al Bagley to his U14B team, but applicable to others!]

Parental Support - The Key to Peak Performance

 The role that parents play in the life of a student/athlete has a tremendous impact on their experience. With this in mind, below are some helpful reminders for all of us as we approach the upcoming season.  If you should have any questions about these thoughts, please feel free to discuss it with me, the coach. 

1.     Let the coaches coach.  Leave the coaching to the coaches.  This includes motivating, psyching your child for practice, after game critiquing, setting goals, requiring additional training etc. You have entrusted the care of your child to the coaches and they need to be free to do their job. If a player has too many coaches, it is confusing for them and their performance usually declines. Do not coach other children on the team (offer suggestions etc) either.

2.     Support the program  Get involved. Volunteer. Help out on fundraisers, carpool, anything to support the program.

3.      Be your child's best fan  Support your child unconditionally.  Do not withdraw when your child performs poorly.  Your child should never have to perform to win your approval.

4.      Support and root for ALL players on the team  Foster teamwork. Your child's teammates are not the enemy.  When they are playing better than your child, they usually get more playing time. Think of it this way: your child has a wonderful opportunity to learn.

5.      Do not bribe or offer incentives  Your job is NOT to motivate. Leave this to the coaching staff.  Bribes will distract your child from properly concentrating in practice and game situations.

6.      Encourage your child to talk with the coaches  If your child is having difficulties in practice or games, or can't make practice etc, encourage THEM to speak directly to the coach.  This "responsibility taking" is a BIG part of becoming a big-time player.  By handling the off-field tasks, your child is claiming ownership of all aspects of the game - preparation for as well as playing the game.  Let's face it - they are growing up!

7.      Understand and display appropriate game behavior  Remember, your child's self esteem and game performance is at stake.  Be supportive, cheer, and be appropriate. To perform to the best of their ability, a student/athlete needs to focus on the parts of the game they can control (their fitness, positioning, decision making, skill, aggressiveness, what the game is presenting them etc) If they start focusing on what they cannot control (condition of the field, the referee, the weather, the opponent, even the outcome of the game at times) they will not play up to their ability.  If they hear a lot of people telling them what to do, or yelling at the referee, it diverts their attention away from the task at hand.

8.     Monitor your child's stress level at home.  Keep an eye on your child to make sure they are handling stress effectively from the various activities in their life.  You are the best judge as to whether or not something looks out of whack.

9.     Monitor eating and sleeping habits.  Be sure your child is eating proper food and getting adequate rest.

10.   Help your child keep his priorities straight.  Help your child maintain a focus on  schoolwork, relationships and the other things in life besides athletics.  Also, if your child has made a commitment to athletics, help them fulfill their obligation to the team.

11.   Reality test  If your child has come off the field when their team has lost, but they have played their best, help them to see this as a "win". Remind them that they are to focus on the "process" and not only the "results".  Their fun and satisfaction should be derived from "striving to win".  Conversely, they should not be satisfied by success that occurs despite inadequate preparation and performance.

12.   Keep athletics in proper perspective.  Athletics should not be larger than life for you.  If your child's performance produces strong emotions in you, suppress them.  Remember your relationship will continue with your child long after their competitive athletic days are over. Keep YOUR goals and needs separate from your child's experience.

13.   Have fun!  This is what we will be trying to do - but mixed with hard work as well.  I will try to challenge your child to reach past their comfort level and improve themselves as a player, and thus a person.  I will attempt to do this in environments that are fun, yet challenging and demanding.  I look forward to continuing this process. 

Thanks for your support.

Coach Al Bagley